Old Mom, Young Mom

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There are a lot of discussions I’ve either read or listened in on whether or not its better to be an older mom or a younger mom.  I have had the pleasure of being both!  I’m going to weigh in on the pros (and cons) of each.

Being a young mom

As a young mom you don’t really know the difference, you just “go with it”.  I was lucky to have been around babies my whole life, so it felt really comfortable when I had a baby.  I don’t think as a young mom you really ponder the effects that disposable diapers have on the environment, you don’t over think every little action that happens, you just parent.  As a young mom I was able to take Big E to the park and actually PLAY with him.  And I’m not talking about pushing him on the swing, I’m talking about running around, climbing slides and playing tag.  My energy levels were high.  I also loved taking him to school and being the hip, young mom.

Being an older mom

As an older mom I know the difference and really care about breast feeding, organic clothing and the impact disposable diapers have on the environment.  I have such a great sense of who I am as a person and know firmly the kind of person I want to raise.  I have strong opinions about parenting.  I am able to afford more luxuries for my child as an older mom and provide more now that I am more stable in my life.

They both sound great right?  Well they both aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.  For instance, when I was a younger mom, and since I’ve always looked young for my age people would always ask if Big E was my little brother.  Or give me a ridiculous look of shock and disapproval that I was married with a child at 22.  Don’t get me started how his teachers would act like they knew better for my son just because they had 20 years on me.  Another big con is that I know I missed out on a lot of things that people do in their 20’s like traveling and focusing on a career.  At the time I didn’t feel like I was missing out, but looking back now I definitely see it.  As an older mom I’m having such a hard time with energy.  When I take Little C to the park he’s lucky if I push him on the swing.  There’s no way I feel like running around a playground for an hour, 10 minutes maybe, but a whole hour?  No way.  I’m also starting to feel aches and pains.  I can’t pick up Little C because I get terrible lower back pain.  I’m just so tired these days.

If I had to do it all over again which one would I chose?  I’d probably have chosen to be done having children before I was 30.  I feel like there is something to our nature and our bodies being ready when we’re younger.

My mom always said children are for the youth… I think she’s right!

The Photo Addict

4 Responses

  1. I honestly have to say that even though I have less physical stamina, I’m a MUCH better mother at 36 than I would have been in my 20’s. I mean I think I would have pulled it out and done a decent mothering job, but I’m so much more calm (really!), patient (really!), centered, confident, and just plain emotionally sane than I was in my 20’s. I really needed that time to grow up, and I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. You pay a price either way, but I’d rather be an older mom and force my kid to make up an imaginary friend who runs around with him on the playground than to have been the kind of mother I know I would have been in my 20’s. Great post!

  2. Very cool that you have both perspectives of being a mom before and after 30. I had my two at 29 and 31, my first just when I was transitioning in my work life. It worked out for us, and I feel really grateful for the timing. Where I live, this is still relatively young to have kids, so I see older moms with tons more cash (and sometimes that I’m-older-and-wiser thing going on). But still, even at 32, I’m feeling the aches linger and my energy flag sometimes.

    Mostly I think this means I gotta get my butt in gear exercising. 🙂

  3. Sometimes you just don’t have a choice in the matter. I planned to have my baby at 28 but he didn’t come until I was 34. My little sis wasn’t even thinking of having one at 22 but baby arrived and she adjusted. She did have to grow up quickly though. It is cool that you got to experience both. What’s with the old Grandma picture??? LOL

  4. I FINALLY had my son at 42, and while I definitely don’t have the physical stamina that I would have had in my 20’s, I have INFINITELY more patience now, and appreciate every second I have with him. I also have reached a point in my life where I never sweat the small stuff any more. Possibly because I’m too damned TIRED.

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