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What’s up with the few (ahem) gray hairs standing at attention every time I get out of the shower? I am trying to resist putting chemicals in my hair but they are not helping! This is perhaps the one and only time I’ve ever wished to be a natural blonde. I mean, it’s got to be less noticeable if you are blonde than if you have dark hair, right?
Why does it take me so long to get anywhere these days? Like the Scriv, I’ve only got one child.
I swear I was never so absent-minded before I had a child. Does this wear off ever? I always start with the best of intentions, organizing my day and getting everything I’ll need ready. Yet somehow when I get to the place where I’m going to return something, I inevitably neglect to bring that very something. Or I lose the coupon I so carefully printed off the web that morning that was the reason for me visiting that particular store. Twice I’ve forgotten to take my child’s mitt to t-ball practice. And I never seem to have whatever club card I need. I try not to switch purses much for this very reason!
Where did my 4-year-old learn how to charm me into giving him what he wants? He makes things sound so reasonable. “How about if you just let me spend a little while on the computer and then when you tell me it’s time to get off and do something else, I’ll do it right away AND I’ll eat that fruit. Does that sound good, Mommy?” Aha. Wait, what did I agree to? I know darn well he’s probably fibbing.
Ugh. Bedtime. Another typical battle with a boy who hates to fall asleep. “No, I will NOT close my eyes because I am NOT sleepy!” Snore.
I used to like Star Wars until I was forced to talk about it twenty-five times a day. “Do you like the part when Anakin Skywalker turns into Darth Vader? Did you know that Luke and Leia are brother and sister and Darth Vader is their father? Did you know that, Mommy? Anakin used to be good but then he turned to the dark side…” Thanks, Daddy. Couldn’t you have waited until he was older? I have to confess I kind of miss the Wiggles.
Okay, I force myself to go to the gym for about an hour at a time and it does feel good to have some energy and stay trim BUT I still don’t love to exercise and there are these super toned women (moms even) taking several classes a day plus gym time that seem to eat it up. Is there something wrong with me or is it them? And forget about the dieting part. There are simply some things I won’t give up unless the doctor says so.
Why does every other kid seem to love veggies but mine? Are these moms lying to me? And how about the moms who say the kid potty-trained herself in 3 days at age 2? Or the ones whose preschoolers take long naps willingly, go to bed on time AND remain in their own bed every night? Did I miss something?
Ah well, here’s something to brag about. My son taught himself to write at 3. Ha. No joke. He loves letters/words. TAKE THAT, MAMAS OF VEGGIE EATERS AND GOOD SLEEPERS! Who cares if he took 4 ½ years to potty train? He can write his own random thoughts. Take today’s tidbit. “I make chairs”. Brilliant, eh? (I just got back from Canada, can you tell?)